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funnies
Jun 29th, 2010 by admin

funnies

Funny Questions About Life

Those Funny Questions About Life Keep On Coming.

Ever had one of those funny questions about life? Then please read on.

When it comes to funny questions and thoughts about life, every time I think I’ve seen them all I find one I’ve never seen before or come up with more of my own. Some of these funny questions just pop into your head during every day life, like when you’re in the shower and you see the words on the shampoo bottle that say, “lather, rinse, repeat”. Why does it say that? Do they feel you may miss your head on the first go round? The following are some of the ones I’ve discovered or written however, I know there’s more because thats, well… life. So, if you find while reading these funny questions and thoughts about life make you smile, pass them along. All right, let’s get started!

Funny Questions about life – Group 1 Why does Hawaiian pizza also contain Canadian Bacon? Grape Nuts cereal. No grapes – no nuts. Huh? What’s the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup? Do Dutch people always split the bill? If you use Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread, do you have to use Heavenly Ham?

Funny Questions about life – Group 2 Is there ever a day that mattresses aren’t on sale? They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants? Why are oriental rug stores always going out of business? Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?

Funny Questions about life – Group 3 If it only takes one match to start a forrest fire, why on earth does it take me a whole box of matches and a can of lighter fluid to light my grill? When they ship those styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack them in? How do you know when pickles or sour cream has gone bad?

Funny Questions about life – Group 4 How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning? Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What? If Donkey Kong’s main character is a monkey, why isn’t it called Monkey Kong? Why does the word lisp have an “s” in it?

Funny Questions about life – Group 5 How come you never read the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”? The next time someone says, “Now I’ve seen everything”, ask them if they’ve ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space. Has anyone ever really seen a Jolly Rancher? If you get a club soda stain, how do you remove it?

Funny Questions about life – Group 6 Has anyone (besides Donald Trump’s wife) ever been fooled by a comb over? Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands? There’s senior citizens, so why aren’t there junior citizens?

Funny Questions about life – Group 7 They say laughter is the best medicine – so who came up with the phrase, “I died laughing”? Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed? After all, they’ve already seen you naked. What’s wrong with the United States? They only have two choices for President, but fifty for Miss America. Any reason they nail down the lid of a coffin? When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?

Funny Questions about life – Group 8 Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans? If it’s called lipstick, why is it always coming off? When they sing, “Take me out to the ball game” they’re already there. Why? Who’s idea was it to make the word abbreviation so long?

Yes, these are just a few of the Funny Questions about life that try men’s -and women’s souls. And there’s a ton more funny questions about life not listed here. Some of them come to me during the course of a day. For example, why does every shampoo bottle say, lather, rinse, repeat? I’m sorry, did I miss my head entirely the first time or do you just want to sell more shampoo? If you have or have thought up any funny questions of life yourself, feel free to send them along and thanks for wasting a few minutes of your life pondering these funny questions of life. Now get out there and do something good. Like figuring out what people in China call their good plates…

 

About the Author

Hal Eisenberg is a writer, and author, and an award winning copywriter. He’s also the proud co-owner of http://www.kiddiekort.com. If you’d like to contact him go to http://funny-questions.blogspot.com

Funny Video

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really funny jokes
Apr 28th, 2010 by admin

really funny jokes
Do you have any really funny jokes that are short? 10pts for best one!?

My friend and I are texting jokes back and forth and i need a really funny one… it can be dirty… but not too dirty and please keep it short because i’m texting it!

The fight me and my wife had last night was my fault.
My wife asked me what was on the TV, and i said dust.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.

Where do you find a one legged dog?
Where you left it.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it naked or homeless?

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off.

What is invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they’ve got big fingers!

Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the piss out the underpants.

What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.

What’s the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

I used to have a lot of pimples. One day I fell asleep in a library, I woke up to find a blind man was reading my face!

What did the left nut say to the right nut?
The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!

What did the ghost say to the bee?
BOO-BEE

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give the bitch a shovel

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.

George Bush virus: Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until November.

Victor Borge – Jokes & Danish Folk Song Medley

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My Experience At The Comic Book Convention
Feb 19th, 2010 by admin

Annually, the comic book industry holds it convention. The goal is to present and share new products, stories, and artists. The name has even evolved and some refer to comic books as graphic novels. Regardless, these conventions have the ability to bring together people from all walks of life and age. However, the average age of a convention attendee is likely to be closer to thirty.

The comics or graphic books come in different types and they are presented at the convention for sale or simply display. The typical comic book, if there is such a thing, is historically considered the super hero comic book. Others are more dark, even mysterious thrillers set to a graphic back drop. Graphic means exactly that a picture and not the adult form of graphics. However, some artists do produce what are considered erotic comics.

The convention presenters have a lot of different means at their disposal to show off their work. Many, often, enlarge certain photo images to give a glimpse into their work and style. Still others might even let the public handle some of their lesser prized books. Technology has also made its way into the comic book circles. Many, in fact, use LED backlight screens, to display their images. These screens allow for greater breadth and depth of colors to be displayed.

The convention also brings together an entertainment aspect. For instance, many larger publishers would hire and arrange for a person to dress up as one their major characters. The person would then walk about the floor to engage and garner the attention of the attendees. Obviously, there are many ways to grab people’s attention. In general, most of the story lines that sell involve some type of violence and a sexy heroine or woman in distress. This is a bit clich’, but true.

There was one artist that stood out this year. He had gone as far as to hire a band to play’s his story’s theme song. The band was composed of a drummer, a takamine acoustic guitar player, and a singer. Dancers were positioned on either side of the band for effect. Hopefully, the artist was able to generate enough sales revenue to offset his expense. The expense of some of these displays can be staggering.

As an attendee, one can only expect to have fun and, perhaps, even find inspiration. The stories usually have some good triumphing over evil sub plot. However, there are some plots that can be more diabolical or sinister, even bordering on the fetish. Others can be more light hearted and even have a soap opera feel. The intense novels tend to be a bit more intense with gore and nudity. Many of the recent publishers have story lines that are more contemporary rather then taking place in the distant future or past.

The experience is definitely unique and puts on display the talents of some of the newer and up and coming artists. Breaking into the comic book industry is a tough challenge. One not only needs a great story, but an engaging character. Then the story has to be displayed artistically. The competition can be fierce.

humorous
Jan 19th, 2010 by admin

humorous

Humor is an essential part of our lives, is as necessary as all other fuzzy emotions such as love, anger, etc. It dictates how comfortable we feel at our workplace, with a person we just met and how much money we make (in some cases!). The truth is that without humor we are as good as dead. Humor brightens our day and changes our entire perspective about our daily routines in a second. Yes, that’s the power of humor, it is so big that the entertainment industry is currently is above the real estate market (as far as earnings), but don’t take my word for it, look it up!. A decent comedian in comedy central makes more money than a mortgage broker without having all the work related stress.

Now that we have established that humor is great, an important part of our lives and big business, lets start by analyzing the way humor affects our daily life. If you have a desk job, work within a big corporation, are in sales, etc. you have probably noticed that once in a while there comes a person who with just a few words brightens your day, or there is a co-worker you just can’t imagine being without, no, I’m not talking about being in love, we are referring to humor.

It is a fact that most of the people (91.3% actually) who find a job boring, will end up leaving it in less than 3 months. That is just terrible from an employer’s point of view, they loose money by training new employees every few months. Employers and most companies know this, that is why we often hear, “A company name, the best place to work at”, or during the recruitment process we hear “Our company is a leader of this rapidly growing market and offers a fun environment to work at”. What statements like that usually mean is you’ll be buried in paperwork and running around all day long, but off course some people like to work hard so they are the 1% exception. There is nothing funny about jobs like that but they have to advertise it that way to get people interested.

Every now and then, we come across certain individuals who overcame their environment or simply have a different perspective of life who break the ice with a funny sentence, others simply try to memorize jokes and funny quotes, but when they forget about a critical line of the joke they crash and burn, they know it and so does everybody else but people end up laughing because of “social respect”.

For instance, don’t you feel a bit awkward every time someone who you know, is not a good at telling jokes, and this person constantly tries to break the ice with his/her less than funny jokes?, it has happened to me and everyone. I just wish that for once I wouldn’t be the one saying the bad jokes!.

Not everyone has joke telling talents, and that’s OK. But people who know don’t have such talent shouldn’t attempt stunts like these in public. There are many comedians I can reference to but I’ll quote Ronald Reagan (Yeah, the president). Regardless of his highly stressful occupation (and age), he was a “mentally hilarious” person who knew how to deliver a good-funny line at the right moment. For example:

– When asked by a reporter what kind of Governor he would be (back in 1966), he answered “I don’t know. I’ve never played a governor.”

– When he was asked about the deficit the country was going through he said “I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”

– When asked about the Government views on economy, instead of talking about foreign exchange markets, interests, war etc. he said “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

– Or, “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.”

As you see by these few examples show that being funny has nothing to do with lengthy jokes, its all about delivery and honest but simple lines, an average person can understand. By average I mean 93.4% of the population.

Learning how to use irony, juxtaposition and delivery can set you apart from the rest of the boring people, so help change the world for the best.

By the way, did you know that over 95% of all statistics are made up in the spot?; you might just want to keep that in mind!.

About the Author:

FunnyAndJokes provide many more funny quotes and jokes to help you laugh and become even funnier. Learn hilarious blonde jokes and kids jokes perfect for almost any occasion. Visit us today!

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comFunny Jokes and Humor – Something for Everyone

japanese humor

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cartoons jokes
Jan 8th, 2010 by admin

cartoons jokes

Cartoon is a term that once the intention of the fine arts during the Renaissance. Somehow, however, meaning the term has evolved (or decentralized, depending on how you look) in the illustrations of humor and wit and, finally, in animation programs designed to entertain people, mostly children. For clarity, the term caricature of this article refer to animation programs. Recently, however, a new term has been coined: Anime. And the distinction between these two great confusion caused.

Strictly speaking, however, there should be no distinction between anime and cartoons. Anime is a term used by Japanese to refer to cartoons, from their own country and others as well. Somewhere, however, the world started using the term in reference solely to anime Japanese cartoons. Japanese Animation was once called Japanimation, but this term has been well discarded when the term "Anime" was put into service.

Some say they see no difference between the two, even going so far as to classify the comics and cartoons as "childish" because of the nature of how they present, the general misfortune of anime fans. Technically, There is no formal difference and are a little tight. But you just watch an episode of an anime series and see that the anime is much more than usual slapstick comedy man-trigger-on-a-banana course of the morning cartoons. There is a real and profound difference between the two besides their spellings: Anime is much more than "just a cartoon."

Stories / Plots

Cartoons usually have a simple plot and well defined. And they usually are good fighting evil. Cartoons rarely go beyond that old cliché. Most of the animated series, on the other hand, are also the same good and evil, but the plots are rarely simple and very difficult to predict. You will also find an element of politics, religion, humanity, and a score of several other abstract concepts into an anime. Given that the cartoons are about "bad cat" Continuous "innocent 'mice or a hero to defend themselves and others of a very evil bully. Anime can blur the line between good and evil as you wonder which side is really good. Look at the plot of Gundam, there are no good or bad. Both are fighting for a cause – a laudable, and both parties are willing to do good and evil to achieve their goals. Mira Wave Country arc of Naruto that is now in Naruto Shippuden. Zabuza, evil as he was, had evoked more sympathetic tears than any of antagonists typically Disney. There are some exceptions to the 'cartoons are simple' rule. There are sets of drawings animated characters that are well advanced as X-Men.

In terms of humor, anime goes beyond the slapstick comedy that cartoons offer. There will not be Corny joke about the chicken crossed the road with the anime. Banana will not fly even for excellence. Anime humor is deep and witty. However, it is noted that the cartoons are mostly for children. Anime can be for an adult audience, is more often true. There are moments where anime plots are hardly suited for children.

Characters

In his cartoons, there is a protagonist, antagonist, and a damsel in distress. Their functions are well defined and clear and the characters always act according to their duties. In the anime, however, the damsel in distress may very well become the antagonist, leaving the protagonist in distress. No one knows what to expect in anime. Characters Animated long overtime was developed through trials and growth, while cartoon characters remain the same whenever the show started. (Of course there are exceptions, like Spiderman.) Since this is a conspiracy in motion, animated characters, established and can grow even lead to Next Generation series. Anime Fans tend to get into the characters more depth because of the character and charm. Consider Naruto, viewers see a baby grow to a powerful young ninja, how it relates to people, learning new techniques, and how it develops visually. This is one of the main reasons for the popularity of cartoon format.

About the Author:

Henry Hsieh has multiple interests and he enjoys talking about them. As a fan of anime, he likes to watch Naruto, discuss them in Naruto Forums, and listen to Naruto MP3 at tailedfox.com the best Naruto site with the newest Naruto Episodes of Naruto Shippuden out first.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.comThe Differences Between Anime and Cartoon

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